I woke up this morning with mad anxiety in my chest. It's just like, something is really bothering me and I have no idea what it is even though I've been searching my brain all morning for possible reaons...I can't seem to shake the feeling at the moment. It paralyzes me and makes me not want to do anything or ever leave my bed...which is probably the opposite of what I should do. Oh well...
Maybe it's not anxiety...maybe my body is hating me for eating a ham and cheese quesadilla followed by a kebab at 2:30 am...ew, that's never a settling feeling when you know you've eaten like a pig the night before! Gross!!
I've become friends with these two really awesome girls...it was nice being able to go out and have people to talk to about real shit for once. That's been one thing that's rare here - there's a lot of people around and definitely people to call but not a lot of people to like REALLY talk to. I'm sad because one of the girls is just here for the semester so she leaves in December...but the other girl is here for 6 more months I believe? So, it's nice to know our friendship can continue on and grow!
I'm beginning to look into tickets to come home for the holidays. It's a weird feeling actually...I'm really excited but I'm a little bit nervous at the same time. Even though I've kept in touch with everyone it will feel like a dream when I can see them all again...and then leave again and won't be back for so long...I wonder how I will feel about home once I'm there. I'm more interested to see how I will feel about Italy when I'm in Boston...I hope I have positive feelings towards both.
In a way, my time here this "semester" has been a very big learning experience. I'm seeing the culture in a much different light than I was able to when I was studying abroad. I'm viewing the city with a completely different perspective than I did three years ago...not necessarily in a good or bad way, just totally different. So, this was my learning experience and next "semester" will be much better I think...I'm looking forward to it!!
I need to LIVE more while I'm here...I'm not taking enough of advantage of the fact that I'm in ITALY....maybe I will go on a day trip this weekend with someone. Or check out a museum. Or get dressed up and go to a delicious dinner at a restaurant. It's like, why the hell not? I came here to LIVE and I feel like I'm not doing enough of that...so YA, moving forward...that's what it's all about. Letting go a little bit more enjoying life :)
Ahhhhhhh, I feel so much better now!!!!
A dopo :)
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